Because vulnerability...

I went into the bathroom stall at work and cried for a hour after almost bursting in tears in front of my manager. At this moment I realized that if I was mentally unhealthy I was physically unhealthy. My chest was tight. A feeling that I Had become accustomed to  over the last year. But why? 2019 was a roller coaster year for sure; my good days out weighed my bad days, right? I had a beautiful baby girl, I lost my job but then I got it back, my blood pressure was still stabilizing after my pregnancy but we had a path framed up to get me off medicine, my father passed away but I was coping well(right?), my husband became the senior pastor of our church (God has been good!). Every obstacle that had been presented I seemed to get past. But why am I feeling so much hurt, bitterness, confusion and pain. I sat in the stall crying for a full hour. I never would have imagined they day. I then started to get even more confused because I had been praying and giving my burdens over to the Lord. I have faith that God would change my situation. That joy would come in the morning. Then I heard a still small voice that said you had faith but were you working. Of course I thought yes I’ve been working. But then I heard the Lord day you’ve been distracting.

This was the moment that I decided to stop distracting myself from the true work...
So here I am.